What have I to gain, and what have I to loose?
This is for @directioner-of-harry hope you like it! go follow her! she makes amazing sets!
Comment 1 like
Do you want me to make you a personal set? If you do, comment or PM me and we will discuss it. <3
Three comments 1 like
Chapter One: Two More Months
I fiddled with my white dress that hung loosely on my small body. I lay on my small white cot; staring up at the white ceiling. 'The nurse will be here soon for your medication. You should jump her when she comes. Just snap her neck and
get out. You could be free.' The voices whisper relentlessly in my head. I press my hands over my ears and hope they will go away. That's how the nurse finds me; lying on my bed with my hands pressed tightly over my ears.
"Here you go, Jude." The nurse says and hands me the small white pill. 'White; just like everything else here.' I think to myself as I swallow the pill obediently. I nod at Nurse Molly, my face emotionless. I don't talk to people, except my cousin. But Niall's different. He's the only one that understands me; the only one that doesn't think I'm crazy. Both Greg and Mara think I am, though. Besides the nurses, Niall's the only person that's gone into the outside world and the only person that visits me.
There's this one boy who comes to my room and visits me. He looks to be about six years old. He just stands at the end of my bed and stares at me; his red eyes burning into my bright blue ones. Sometimes, he screams and shouts at me and will throw things around the room. Other times he just stares at me. I don't if I should be afraid of him, or if I should call him a friend. I tried to tell the nurses, back when I talked, but they would just look at me sadly and leave. That's when I stopped talking.
"You know, you only have two more months here. The doctors feel as though you're getting better. You will have to check in with the hospital every once in a while and you will have to take medication, but they will let you go." Molly tells me, sitting down at the end of my bed; it creaks underneath her weight.
"Really?" I whisper lightly, my small voice echoing off the white walls.
"Really," Molly says and gives me a small smile. She gets up and the cot creaks again. Molly leaves and shuts the large wooden door. I sit up in my bed for the rest of the day, dreaming about what it would be like to be free.
---
Niall and I walked hand in hand down the white hallways. I was only ever allowed out of my room during therapy, or when I had to eat. I was in the 'critical' section of the hospital; they told me they would move me down soon, though. I'd finally leave the room I'd been in for three years; I'd get a new room with more privileges.
'Then, you will be free. You'll get to go outside and feel the sun against your skin; feel the wind in your hair.' The voices say, and I agree. I look over at Niall and he looks over at me, our blue eyes connecting. Mine are brighter then his, something he always compliments me for.
Maura is my mom's sister. My mother and father gave me up for adoption when I was born, but Maura insisted on raising me. When I was fifteen they found out I heard them. They sent me to this hospital when I was 15, and I'm turning 19 soon. It'll almost be four years that I was here.
Niall's the only one in the family that visits me; he always said we had a connection. He'd visit me and tell me how everything is going. Apparently he's in some boy-band and they're successful. He tried out for X-Factor, and got put in a band. I've never met the four other boys Niall speaks so fondly of; only family members are allowed to visit.
"I brought my guitar." Niall says, and my eyes widen with joy. Niall is the only one that can make me truly happy. He gets me and understands me; he treats me with respect as if I'm normal.
'Normal.' The voices whisper back to me. 'Something that you long to be.'
"Let's go, then!" I yell and scurry down the long white hallway; my bare feet padding against the white tile. I fling the wooden door open and sit down on my cot, Niall sitting down beside me. He lifts his guitar that he had hidden under my bed and hands it to me.
"Do you remember?" He asks, and I nod my head. Niall had taught me how to play guitar over these three years, and it was a hobby I enjoyed. He brought his guitar every time he came and visited me; and every time he would ask me the same question. Do I remember?
I looked up at him and smiled, but something caught my attention in the corner of my room. There, in the white chair by the door, sat the little boy. His red eyes stared at me. I stared back, trying to make him turn away, but I had no luck. "Go away." I tell him. Niall looks at me skeptically. I turn to face him. "Don't you see that little boy? He's staring at us." I say and point to the little boy in the chair. Niall's eyes widen, and he looks back at me.
"Jude...there's no little boy." He says calmly.
"Yes, there is! Don't you see him? He's staring at us. He stands by my bed at night and watches me. It scares me, Niall. He won't go away!" I practically scream. Niall gently takes the guitar off of my lap and sets it beside him.
"Judina, there is no boy." He tells me sternly, using my full name and making me cringe.
I look back up at the chair, and notice the boy is gone. I sigh in relief and turn to Niall. "He's gone."
"Jude, he never was there."
"Yes, he was. You just don't see the things I do."
Well, here's the first chapter. Hope you like it. Please comment and like. <3
1+ like for next chapter. <3
I fiddled with my white dress that hung loosely on my small body. I lay on my small white cot; staring up at the white ceiling. 'The nurse will be here soon for your medication. You should jump her when she comes. Just snap her neck and
get out. You could be free.' The voices whisper relentlessly in my head. I press my hands over my ears and hope they will go away. That's how the nurse finds me; lying on my bed with my hands pressed tightly over my ears.
"Here you go, Jude." The nurse says and hands me the small white pill. 'White; just like everything else here.' I think to myself as I swallow the pill obediently. I nod at Nurse Molly, my face emotionless. I don't talk to people, except my cousin. But Niall's different. He's the only one that understands me; the only one that doesn't think I'm crazy. Both Greg and Mara think I am, though. Besides the nurses, Niall's the only person that's gone into the outside world and the only person that visits me.
There's this one boy who comes to my room and visits me. He looks to be about six years old. He just stands at the end of my bed and stares at me; his red eyes burning into my bright blue ones. Sometimes, he screams and shouts at me and will throw things around the room. Other times he just stares at me. I don't if I should be afraid of him, or if I should call him a friend. I tried to tell the nurses, back when I talked, but they would just look at me sadly and leave. That's when I stopped talking.
"You know, you only have two more months here. The doctors feel as though you're getting better. You will have to check in with the hospital every once in a while and you will have to take medication, but they will let you go." Molly tells me, sitting down at the end of my bed; it creaks underneath her weight.
"Really?" I whisper lightly, my small voice echoing off the white walls.
"Really," Molly says and gives me a small smile. She gets up and the cot creaks again. Molly leaves and shuts the large wooden door. I sit up in my bed for the rest of the day, dreaming about what it would be like to be free.
---
Niall and I walked hand in hand down the white hallways. I was only ever allowed out of my room during therapy, or when I had to eat. I was in the 'critical' section of the hospital; they told me they would move me down soon, though. I'd finally leave the room I'd been in for three years; I'd get a new room with more privileges.
'Then, you will be free. You'll get to go outside and feel the sun against your skin; feel the wind in your hair.' The voices say, and I agree. I look over at Niall and he looks over at me, our blue eyes connecting. Mine are brighter then his, something he always compliments me for.
Maura is my mom's sister. My mother and father gave me up for adoption when I was born, but Maura insisted on raising me. When I was fifteen they found out I heard them. They sent me to this hospital when I was 15, and I'm turning 19 soon. It'll almost be four years that I was here.
Niall's the only one in the family that visits me; he always said we had a connection. He'd visit me and tell me how everything is going. Apparently he's in some boy-band and they're successful. He tried out for X-Factor, and got put in a band. I've never met the four other boys Niall speaks so fondly of; only family members are allowed to visit.
"I brought my guitar." Niall says, and my eyes widen with joy. Niall is the only one that can make me truly happy. He gets me and understands me; he treats me with respect as if I'm normal.
'Normal.' The voices whisper back to me. 'Something that you long to be.'
"Let's go, then!" I yell and scurry down the long white hallway; my bare feet padding against the white tile. I fling the wooden door open and sit down on my cot, Niall sitting down beside me. He lifts his guitar that he had hidden under my bed and hands it to me.
"Do you remember?" He asks, and I nod my head. Niall had taught me how to play guitar over these three years, and it was a hobby I enjoyed. He brought his guitar every time he came and visited me; and every time he would ask me the same question. Do I remember?
I looked up at him and smiled, but something caught my attention in the corner of my room. There, in the white chair by the door, sat the little boy. His red eyes stared at me. I stared back, trying to make him turn away, but I had no luck. "Go away." I tell him. Niall looks at me skeptically. I turn to face him. "Don't you see that little boy? He's staring at us." I say and point to the little boy in the chair. Niall's eyes widen, and he looks back at me.
"Jude...there's no little boy." He says calmly.
"Yes, there is! Don't you see him? He's staring at us. He stands by my bed at night and watches me. It scares me, Niall. He won't go away!" I practically scream. Niall gently takes the guitar off of my lap and sets it beside him.
"Judina, there is no boy." He tells me sternly, using my full name and making me cringe.
I look back up at the chair, and notice the boy is gone. I sigh in relief and turn to Niall. "He's gone."
"Jude, he never was there."
"Yes, he was. You just don't see the things I do."
Well, here's the first chapter. Hope you like it. Please comment and like. <3
1+ like for next chapter. <3
Comment Like
Epilogue: Big White Room
I sat in my big white room alone. Sunlight shone through the cracks in the bars over my window. The window was six to seven feet off the ground; that way people couldn't try to escape. The walls were a bleached white and they matched the white tile floors. My twin-sized cot was also white; the only thing that had color in my room was the wooden door. Not even the chair placed by the door had color; it was white also. I hated white. The color came to bring me fear after being here for three years.
My knees were against my chest with my arms wrapped tight around them. I tilt my head back and let my tears fall freely from my bright blue eyes. They fall endlessly down my pale cheeks; dripping onto the tiled floor. I hastily wiped away my tears; causing my black hair to fall infront of my shoulders.
'You know, you should just bang the door open. Throw your shoulder against it a couple of times. Or jump and try to hold onto the bars over the window. You're skinny enough to fit through the bars. C'mon. Do it. Get out of here. You're not
crazy, you're normal. Escape.' The voices echoed in my head. I pressed my pale hands against my ears, but it didn't work.
"NO!" A scream fell from my red lips; my voice hoarse and cracked. "No no no no!" I scream over and over again. I jump up from my spot on the ground and run towards the door. I beat my small fists relentlessly against it; sometimes stopping
to try and turn the doorknob. But it was no use. The door was locked from the outside, as usual. "NO!" I yell again and again; sobs erupting from inside of me and coming out of my cracked, red lips.
My fists hurt from pounding again and again against the wooden door, but I didn't stop. My knuckles were scratched and bleeding, the red contrasting against my ghostly, white skin. I want out of this big white room. In that moment, I felt young, broken, and so, so scared. I want to be free. I want out of this hell-hole and I want to be outside. I want to go outside and feel the sun beat against me and the wind in my hair.
I haven't been outside in three years. I haven't been out of this hospital in three years. I haven't felt the sun in three years. I have no clue what's going on in the outside world. I have no clue what movies have come out or the latest music.
I want out of my big white room.
Welp, there's the epilogue! 1+ like for the first chapter? :)
I sat in my big white room alone. Sunlight shone through the cracks in the bars over my window. The window was six to seven feet off the ground; that way people couldn't try to escape. The walls were a bleached white and they matched the white tile floors. My twin-sized cot was also white; the only thing that had color in my room was the wooden door. Not even the chair placed by the door had color; it was white also. I hated white. The color came to bring me fear after being here for three years.
My knees were against my chest with my arms wrapped tight around them. I tilt my head back and let my tears fall freely from my bright blue eyes. They fall endlessly down my pale cheeks; dripping onto the tiled floor. I hastily wiped away my tears; causing my black hair to fall infront of my shoulders.
'You know, you should just bang the door open. Throw your shoulder against it a couple of times. Or jump and try to hold onto the bars over the window. You're skinny enough to fit through the bars. C'mon. Do it. Get out of here. You're not
crazy, you're normal. Escape.' The voices echoed in my head. I pressed my pale hands against my ears, but it didn't work.
"NO!" A scream fell from my red lips; my voice hoarse and cracked. "No no no no!" I scream over and over again. I jump up from my spot on the ground and run towards the door. I beat my small fists relentlessly against it; sometimes stopping
to try and turn the doorknob. But it was no use. The door was locked from the outside, as usual. "NO!" I yell again and again; sobs erupting from inside of me and coming out of my cracked, red lips.
My fists hurt from pounding again and again against the wooden door, but I didn't stop. My knuckles were scratched and bleeding, the red contrasting against my ghostly, white skin. I want out of this big white room. In that moment, I felt young, broken, and so, so scared. I want to be free. I want out of this hell-hole and I want to be outside. I want to go outside and feel the sun beat against me and the wind in my hair.
I haven't been outside in three years. I haven't been out of this hospital in three years. I haven't felt the sun in three years. I have no clue what's going on in the outside world. I have no clue what movies have come out or the latest music.
I want out of my big white room.
Welp, there's the epilogue! 1+ like for the first chapter? :)
Comment 2 likes
There was this strange girl with dark brown hair and the brightest blue eyes. Most people said her eyes were the color of the sky. She was very small but that didn't stop her from reaching for her dreams.
She liked books better than people because books never changed, when people did. She loved to take photos and remember moments that brought her joy and laughter. Writing and music were ways that she used to escape from the world and all the evil in it.
She was an insecure girl; always trying and wanting to reach perfection. But perfection was always somehow out of her reach. She walked this Earth with one thought: 'What have I to gain, and what have I to loose?'
She liked books better than people because books never changed, when people did. She loved to take photos and remember moments that brought her joy and laughter. Writing and music were ways that she used to escape from the world and all the evil in it.
She was an insecure girl; always trying and wanting to reach perfection. But perfection was always somehow out of her reach. She walked this Earth with one thought: 'What have I to gain, and what have I to loose?'
- 15,799 set views
- 482 set likes
- 394 collection likes
- 155 followers
- 189
- 584
- 117
- 2718
- 3058
- 4329
- 855
- 614